Secure Love Co.

If you find yourself caught in cycles of doubt, anxiety, or disconnection in your relationship, you’re not alone. You may be navigating betrayal, communication breakdowns, or patterns of insecure attachment that leave you feeling unsafe or unseen.
At Secure Love Co, we know relationships aren’t always easy — but we also know they can become deeply fulfilling when we address what’s happening beneath the surface. Using a trauma-informed and somatic approach, we explore how early attachment experiences may still be influencing your patterns today, and support you in building a secure, connected relationship — with yourself and your partner.

Anxiety can feel like a constant undercurrent in your life — exhausting thoughts, physical tension, and a nervous system that’s always “on.” It might feel like there’s no way out of the overwhelm, but there is. Together, we’ll work with your body and mind to regulate your nervous system, uncover the roots of your anxiety, and develop tools you can actually use in the moment. You’ll learn not just to cope, but to feel safe and grounded again.

OCD is often misunderstood and misdiagnosed — it’s not just about neatness or order. It can take many forms, including Relationship OCD, Pure OCD, Contamination OCD, Existential OCD, Rumination OCD, Somatic OCD, Forbidden Thought OCD, and intrusive thoughts or images.At Secure Love Co, we use a compassionate, trauma-informed approach, integrating ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention), CBT, and IFS to help you navigate your OCD experience. There is hope, even when OCD tells you otherwise.

Your relationship with your body is one of the longest relationships you’ll ever have — but for many, it’s also one of the most complicated. You might feel stuck in cycles of self-criticism, shame, or a constant pressure to change how you look. Disordered eating can take many forms — from chronic dieting, binge eating, and restriction, to an obsessive focus on “healthy” eating that leaves you feeling trapped rather than nourished.

At Secure Love Co, we approach body image and disordered eating through a compassionate, trauma-informed lens. Together, we’ll explore the deeper roots — from early messages about worth and beauty, to experiences that shaped how you see yourself today. Using somatic tools, nervous system regulation, and gentle exploration, we work towards building a relationship with your body that is grounded in respect, trust, and care.

Healing is not about forcing self-love overnight — it’s about creating a safe space to slowly unlearn harmful beliefs, reconnect with your body’s signals, and make peace with the person you see in the mirror.

Your sense of self is built over a lifetime, shaped by your experiences — both painful and joyful. Low self-esteem can impact every area of life, from relationships to career to how you care for yourself. In our work together, we explore your story with curiosity and compassion, while building an embodied sense of self-worth. Through psychotherapeutic and somatic tools, you’ll begin to inhabit a more confident, grounded version of yourself — one that feels safe and natural, not forced.

Sexual struggles are more common than many people realize — yet they’re often carried in silence, with shame or self-blame. You might be experiencing erectile dysfunction, low desire, painful sex, difficulty reaching orgasm, or feeling disconnected from intimacy altogether. For others, it’s not about the physical body but about the emotions that get in the way — anxiety, performance pressure, trauma, or unspoken fears.

At Secure Love Co, I approach sexual challenges with warmth, compassion, and a trauma-informed lens. Together, we’ll explore the deeper layers — from nervous system dysregulation and stored stress in the body, to relationship dynamics or past experiences that may be shaping your current patterns.

Healing doesn’t mean “performing better.” It means feeling safe, connected, and present in your body and your relationships. Whether you’re navigating this individually or as a couple, I support you in reclaiming intimacy as a source of ease, joy, and connection.

“When I set out to look for a suitable counselor, I wanted something all-encompassing, a holistic approach that would cover my whole being, mind, body & emotionally & spiritually. I wanted to address past trauma and try to understand why I continue to sabotage my life & effectively hurt others in my life through my actions. I was hurt confused & needed closure. What I discovered through Emily Milward, was an incredible young woman with a knowledge of the dynamic / dysfunction in families, a rationale for the repetitive behaviors that are soul destroying, and an extremely incredible approach to acceptance & ultimate healthy healing through the discipline & benefits of breathwork & yoga. “

“Emily made me feel so comfortable, relaxed, and safe, I found I could divulge absolutely everything, the space was safe to do so. She listens intently and will constantly ask more of me if it is safe to do so. She will frame her responses in such a way that it provides me an opportunity to process my experiences, I chose to journal my findings and this proved to be hugely effective. Emily provided prompts and observations that I will read and process and therefore put to paper my responses.”

“What I find is an incredible way to heal, to move forward with acceptance, and more importantly an understanding of who I am as a person. My advice to anyone pursuing Emily for holistic healing would be to engage 110%, to let all those issues deemed big or small out into the light, to be completely honest. The biggest advice would be to completely trust this incredible process. Nothing is too big for Emily to handle. Her empathy knows no bounds, & the results are so incredible, the freedom of no longer carrying these burdens, to be able to let go and let God. The tools she offers through simple breathing tasks will be something you have for life. Why wait, book a time, and live your best life?”

ARE THESE SESSIONS CONFIDENTIAL?

Yes. Everything you tell your counsellor is treated as strictly confidential. The only exception to this is when there is a threat to someone’s safety; either your own or somebody else’s.

DO YOU DO SESSIONS FOR COUPLES?

Yes upon request. Counselling can be beneficial for individual healing as well as couples healing and working through road blocks together. Quotes on request.

HOW OFTEN DO SESSIONS OCCUR?

Sessions usually occur weekly although sometimes more or less frequent sessions are more appropriate.

HOW LONG ARE 1:1 SESSIONS?

60 minutes.

However, sometimes due to multiple factors, different durations can be negotiated in advance. For example

60 minutes can go quite fast if emotional distress is high during counseling and a 90 minute or 2 hour session can feel more useful.

Due to affordability and/or needs, some people opt for 30 - 45 minute sessions. Quoted on request.

HOW DO I PAY

I will send you an invoice via email. Direct bank deposit. Due 24 hours before the session.

I AM NERVOUS ABOUT MAKING AN APPOINTMENT. CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT TO EXPECT?

This is not uncommon. I would love to have a short phone call with you. I am happy to introduce myself and explain what the sessions entail.

ARE SESSIONS AVAILABLE IN PERSON AND VIA ZOOM?

Absolutely. I understand that in some cases people are unable to meet in person. Zoom sessions are a great way for you to be in a comfortable space for you.

HOW ARE SESSIONS HELD DURING COVID RESTRICTIONS?

All sessions will be outside until Covid restrictions ease. This is a great way to be in nature and get some fresh air. Otherwise sessions will be held on zoom.

HOW DO I BOOK AN APPOINTMENT?

Via our ‘contact’ page or email emily@secureloveco.com

DO I STILL NEED TO PAY IF I CANCEL MY SESSION?

We have a cancellation policy which requires full payment 24 hours before your session. If cancellation is made after this 24 hour period, a non-refundable 50% deposit will be kept. No-shows will incur the full fee.

WHAT ARE YOUR OFFICE HOURS?

9am - 7pm Monday - Friday

Weekends/after hour appointments can be made upon request but are limited.

WHAT DO I DO IF I WOULD LIKE TO DISCONTINUE WITH THE SESSIONS?

If you would like to discontinue with your sessions, simply send Emily an email to let her know.

DO YOU OFFER MENTAL HEALTH CRISIS SERVICES?

These holistic counselling sessions are not designed to work with those going through emergency crisis. Please get in tough with the Mental Health Crisis Team in NZ - 0800 800 717